I am eternally grateful to have been part of the advent of a blissful movement “#EVOLVE: The Conscious Way Summit 2015”. Dr. Shefali Tsabary is the forerunner in conscious parenting, and in my opinion, her book “The Conscious Parent” is even a more essential read than “What to Expect When You Are Expecting”! Here is a synopsis of the empowering, metamorphosing, and phenomenal 3-day mindfulness retreat in Long Beach, California.
Dr. Shefali Tsabary
I cannot even begin to describe Dr. Shefali’s purposefulness and passion in birthing and communicating an invaluable message to the world. I have read more than 50 parenting books and have attended numerous parenting workshops and conferences. Conscious parenting, the way Shefali is manifesting, is revolutionary, ground-breaking, and immaculate to say the least.
Here are some of invaluable nuggets that I took home from her portion of the talk.
- Parenting is ONLY about parents.
- By raising OURSELVES, we raise our children.
- Do LESS.
- Eliminate FEAR.
- Stick with some few unnegotiable rules, and for all the rest, go for WIN-WIN.
- Cultivate “WHAT IS” instead of “what if”.
The following are the elements that are propagated between the parent and the child at trigger time. Dr. Shefali orchestrated an ingenious theatrical abyss on stage that became wider as each of these factors arose within the parent’s psyche.
- Past pain
- Triggered reaction
By eliminating the middlemen, what we, as conscious parents, are left with are mere:
Without my fears and by identifying my unconscious triggers, I not only feel liberated, but I can authentically feel my love for my children in a whole new level. The love that rises from being-ness.
Neale Donald Walsch
My amazing coach and mentor, Gil McIff, always says, “All negative triggers are the result of unhealed past emotions.” Reverend Neale, similarly, warns us that if we do not allow ourselves and our children to feel authentic feelings, we are left with repressed and unhealthy emotions that are the true causes of much suffering in our lives. Here are the legitimate feelings and their unwholesome counterparts.
- Grief -> Depression
- Anger -> Rage
- Fear -> Panic
- Envy -> Jealousy
- Love -> Possessiveness
I am perpetually amazed by Rumi’s wisdom when he articulates the same concept in such an eloquent way,
“The cure for pain is in the pain. ~ Rumi”
Listening to her incredible “The Work on Parenting” with amazing Byron Katie and attending some of her live webinars, I was thrilled to meet her in the summit. Her brilliant concept of “captain of the ship” is an empowering nugget to keep in mind to avoid struggles with our kids. If we, as parents, do not maintain our leadership or “CAPTAIN OF THE SHIP” role at all times, we might end up in the “LAWYER” role when we feed to negotiating and arguing about the limits or eventually resort to the “DICTATOR” role to reinforce punishments and out-of-proportion consequences. Her new books “Parenting with Presence” is a wonderful resource to explore her vision of parenting.
Suzi Kesler Lula
The final portion of the 3-day conference was devoted to self-care which in my opinion is a prerequisite to a fulfilled and healthy life as an adult. I am grateful to delightful Suzi that empowered me not to give up my scheduled run. Since I embarked on the colossal Ph.D. journey a couple of months ago, I have been overwhelmed by the amount of reading and writing that need to be done in a very limited time; therefore, I decided to skip my runs to create more time for my kids. I cannot stress enough how unwise this decision was. These are among the gems I got from her allowing speech.
- Not attending to self-care is selfish.
- We need to nourish our kids with the OVERFLOW of our energy; not directly from our own fuel tank.
My Pledges to Be a Conscious Parent
Here are the 6 pledges I made in front of the amazing community to keep myself accountable to say the least:
- I will not abandon my intention to remain NON-REACTIVE not only with my kids but in all aspects of my life.
- I maintain a mental SNAPSHOT of the ingenious theatrical abyss Dr. Shefali orchestrated in order to keep me empowered and in perspective and to bring me back from the mind to the heart.
- I will never abandon my scheduled MEDITATION and RUN, and I will dance with my kids at least once a day.
- I continue coaching myself and my kids to find and feel all the legitimate EMOTIONS at all times to cultivate a healthy and soulful life.
- I will live a life with intentionality and NO FEAR.
- I choose MINDFULNESS, JOYFULNESS, and COMPASSION at all times.
Dr. Shefali, the world is thanking you for your fierce and wise soul. You and every presenter you chose brought immense wisdom and enlightenment to the amazing tapestry that you brilliantly created for us ♥
I cannot wait for the next year #EVOLVE summit in New York. For information, please visit Dr. Shefali’s events!
♥ Be.Love.Know. ♥